Ain’t That America

In August 2025, I took my kids for our annual trip to the States, and we covered a lot of ground:

• San Antonio, TX. Home of the Alamo, Bill Miller Bar-B-Q, and 40C / 104F summers.  And no, it’s not a dry heat.
• Valley Forge, PA.  Home of a famous Revolutionary War encampment, so of course they have a casino there now.
• New York City, NY.  Home of great food, tiny apartments, and people who are a lot friendlier than their reputation.
• Cooperstown, NY.  Home of the Baseball Hall of Fame, the contents of which I wish I knew more about.
• Niagara Falls, NY and Canada.  Home of lots and lots of flowing water.

I’ve been living in Japan for over 20 years now, and it’s become home to me, so whenever I visit America I always feel a bit like an outsider.  This time around, I’ve decided to compile a few observations.

Still the King of Junk Food

Philadelphia is known for a lot of classic American eats — cheesesteaks, soft pretzels, water ices, hoagies, and if you hate yourself, scrapple.  When it comes to sweets, the most famous packaged confectionary brand is Tastykake, which has a variety of pastries with a shelf life longer than you.  I decided to try out my old favorite, the Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes.  I hadn’t had these things in decades, so I was eager to be whisked away to my youth…

… and weeks later, I still have the flavor in my mouth.  What I don’t have left are my teeth.  Hot damn, these things are sweet — like way past sugary, to a root canal inducing level of sweetness.  I remember having a dentist that gave out lollipops, using the joke of them “improving business.”  He should have given these out instead — he’d have a thriving dental implant empire.

It’s not just these packaged desserts though.  Everything is overloaded with sugar, even things with no business having sugar in them.  I know it’s always been like this to a degree, but do we really need Oreo flavored lip balm? 

On that note, while we were in NYC, my niece dragged us to a special circle of hell called The Museum of Ice Cream.  It’s basically a series of pink playrooms where they hop you up on ice cream at almost every turn.  When I say pink, imagine if you filled a swimming pool with Pepto Bismol, dove in, and opened your eyes without goggles on.

The kids loved it.  My mom and I were asking how our lives came to this.

Through Red and Blue Glasses

Despite what you see in the news, everyday America isn’t all about extreme politics or temper tantrums in airports.  Most people interact with each other just fine, and are generally nice.  My liberal father gets along with his neighbor, who has the Trump version of the “Don’t Tread on Me” flag flying in his yard.  (Yes, that exists.)

That said…

My father and his wife have CNN and MSNBC on almost 24 hours a day.  My mother does the same with FOX “News.”  As such, I’ve seen way too much of both sides of the coin than I care to, and I’ve noticed a few things:

• Conservatives are simply not funny.  They try to be, but they just don’t have it in them.  I watched a couple of episodes of the “Gutfeld!” show, which is a panel thing where conservatives try to crack jokes on liberals, and it’s almost universally unfunny.  Not even my mom laughs, and she’s as MAGA as it gets.
• Liberal “newstainment” media plays on fear just as much as the conservative side does.  There are tons of true crime stories and the like.
• All of them are overflowing with ads for pharmaceuticals.  That and personal injury lawyers.  As Don King would say, “only in America.”

In the end, it all sucks, and gets in the way of actual news and discourse.  Thankfully, from what I understand, younger generations don’t watch this stuff.  They get their biases fed to by other means.

Come Together

But when America unites, it’s a beautiful thing.  Sadly, it usually takes tragedy to unite people, and that hit home when I went to the September 11 Memorial on this trip.  I won’t dwell too long on the subject of 9/11, but there was definitely something in the air at the Memorial, a profound sadness that I’ve only before felt at the Atomic Bomb Dome in Hiroshima.  The senseless loss of life leaves you without words.

The way NYC rebuilt in the wake of that is amazing, and there were so many heroes.  The aftermath of that event still haunts us to this day, and probably always will, but to be there where it happened was so impactful, and is something every American should experience.

Wild in America

One thing that really sets America apart is the diversity of biomes.  Over the course of a single trip, I experienced the rolling, brushy terrain of San Antonio, the verdant woods of Pennsylvania, the expanse of the Hudson River, the vast cornfields of upstate New York, and the majestic beauty of Niagara Falls.

About that… There are two cities with the name Niagara Falls, one on the New York side and one on the Canadian side.  These places are like night and day.  Up through the 1950s, the Falls were a heavy industrial center, and as time went on, the New York side kept leaning into industry, even as it was slipping away to the south, while the Canadian side leaned into tourism.  As such, the New York side is a bleak zombie town, dotted with abandoned homes and shattered dreams.  The Canadian side is shiny and new, and of course friendly, because that’s kind of their thing.

For all of America’s riches, there is still so much poverty.

Your Buying Dollar, Stretched

There is no doubt that prices for things have gotten crazy in America.  It used to be where Tokyo, the city I call home, was viewed as super expensive.  Now, Tokyo is a practically a five-and-dime compared to the land of the free.  An example: a half-liter bottle of Coke will run you about $3, but in Japan you can get it for an average of 150 yen ($1). 

That said, prices aren’t crazy everywhere.  The Mexican joint closest to my dad’s place gives you a whole plate of really good food, for roughly the same price as a Big Mac combo.  Including chips and salsa!  I can’t imagine why someone would go to an Applebee’s when there are much better local options.  (At least in San Antonio.)

Oh, and tipping culture has gotten way too extreme.  It’s time to give people living wages, y’all.

Sum of the Parts

I am an American.  A real American.  Fight for the rights of every man, and all that.  But after living in Japan for so long, I see my home country from a very different viewpoint.  The good and the bad stand out in stark relief, and while I’m still very much American, I feel more like a citizen of the world than anything else.

America has become a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.